Second Chance
by anniie23
Summary: AU, one-shot; Tony and Ziva have been married for three years. But are they really happy? What secrets are they keeping from each other?


_This one-shot isn't really fluffy. You may consider the end of it as one but not too fluffy. Anyway, I quite enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it as well.  
It's AU; I started it in the winter, I think, and finished this week.  
_ _English isn't my first language, so please excuse any mistakes._  
 _I own nothing._

* * *

Ziva came home at eight. She stayed a bit longer at the office doing her paperwork just in case if they had to work at weekend again. Spending her free time there wasn't really her favourite thing even though she felt more comfortable there than in her own apartment, especially lately. Not that she was scared that she might get robbed or something, no, she was scared she would need to face the real problem that had been going on for at least a few weeks. That's when she started noticing his weird behaviour. He was coming home way later than ever, tired, sometimes a bit drunk but also smelling like women's perfume, not hers. And today, he left the office about two hours earlier than her and still wasn't at home.

There was no other option. He was cheating on her. He was bored with her after three years of their marriage. She knew that she was damaged goods, it would be hard not to be after everything she'd been through. Losing her mother being only a child, joining Mossad to please her father, fighting to survive more times than she would care and dare to count, leaving Israel, starting everything again in America, meeting her new family, being held captured in a camp in Somalia, her father's death, marriage and now… Being cheated on.

Sensing someone was on the other side of the door, she moved from the couch and went to the bedroom. She decided to lay down on the bed and pretend to be already asleep. She didn't want to face him that evening, not after the bad day she had just experienced.

Sighing she closed her eyes wishing he would take a shower and fall asleep immediately. But that certainly wasn't what he had on mind. Leaving his coat next to the front door, he went straight to their bedroom. Seeing that she was already in bed and he was facing her back he knew it was bad. Really bad. He could perfectly read her body language and from the moment he laid his eyes on her he knew she was pretending. She could fool anyone but him.

"Can we talk?"

She bit her bottom lip trying not to make a sound. She didn't want him to know how hurt she actually was.

"I do not think we have anything to talk about, Tony," she said still not changing her position.

She didn't want to look at him. Not right after he came home from that another girl. Probably even younger than her. Not that she was old but Tony was a few years older than her. She didn't want to imagine her husband holding some college girl or girl who just graduated from university that clearly was way too young for him. No matter how handsome he actually was. After all these years she had known him she still considered him as the most good-looking man she had ever met.

"But I do."

He sat on his side of the bed with his back towards her.

"What is her name?" Ziva whispered squeezing a pillow in her hand. She was afraid to know the truth but being left out of the loop was much worse.

"When did you find out?"

"How old is she? Twenty?"

"Ziva, please-"

"What does she have that I do not?" she turned around to look at him. That one thing she wanted to hear seeing his face. She wanted him to say that looking at her. Not anywhere else. At her. Maybe that question was pathetic and sounded much more like a movie quote but she considered it as an important one.

"It's over, Zi."

"What is over? Us or you and that girl? Because _we_ are certainly over. Our marriage is a fiction! It has been for at least a few weeks! I should have never agreed to become your wife, you know? I do not know what I was thinking. That you have changed? Please, that is a lie you actually told me more than once," her hands were shaking not to mention her voice. "I want a divorce, Tony. There is nothing left, nothing to save, nothing to fix."

"What? Ziva, wait! I ended it because that was a mistake. A big one. I should've never looked at her but you know me. You know I do stupid things that I regret all the time. Sweet Cheeks, please-"

"I want you to take the couch tonight."

* * *

Even though he was wide awake at three am lying on that very uncomfortable couch and aware of the fact that his back was going to be sore in the morning he didn't dare to move. But when he heard quiet sobs from the bedroom he almost lost it. He didn't know why but he got up and went in that direction. He assumed that he might get hurt, especially after their fight in the evening, but hearing his own wife crying because of him made him sick.

He wanted to fix everything so badly. He wished he hadn't gone to the bar with one of his college buddies that one night. He wished John hadn't left him saying that he should probably get going because he promised his baby girl to put her to bed. He wished that blonde girl hadn't taken a sit next to him after his friend left. He wished she hadn't started a conversation. And the most important, he wished he hadn't been meeting her regularly.

He stopped in the doorstep and looked into the dark room. Seeing his wife curled up in a ball hugging her pillow almost made him leave because he couldn't stand it. It was all his fault and he was more than aware of that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He knew she heard him but didn't do anything to confirm that. She just laid still facing the window. "I really am. What can I do to make you believe me?"

"I do not care about your apologies. I told you earlier that there is nothing to fix, Tony. I am going to contact with a lawyer in the morning."

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"Would you want to talk to me if I cheated on you with some guy that would be younger even than me? I do not think so."

She hesitated for a while thinking if she should tell him what she found out last week. She didn't know if that was a good idea. Their marriage was practically over but she still loved him. She knew he would find out eventually. They were working together for God's sake. They would stop living in the same house but they would still see each other at the office where they were spending over a half of the day.

She changed her position deciding to sit with her back to the pillow.

"Why did you do that to us?"

"I didn't mean to."

"No, Tony," she shook her head. "Why did you do that to _us_?" she whispered placing her hand on her flat stomach. "Why did you do that to your child?"

If he thought he felt bad five minutes ago, he didn't know how to name his feelings now. He was sitting in front of his _pregnant_ wife facing her when she tried to avoid his look, her hand still on her stomach.

He was forty-five. He married her three years ago and wanted to settle down. He had it all and now when something they hadn't talked about yet came up which happened to be the top thing on his 'to do' list, he knew he screwed it all up.

Yes, he was forty-five and he wanted the child of his own so badly and now when his wish came true it felt like the worst possible moment. If he had known that two months ago he would have never even looked at the blonde girl, he would have never replied to her question if he was there alone and wanted some company.

He knew how screwed up their childhoods were. She became a strong woman, a warrior, a fighter without her mother. Even though she was surrounded mostly by men she was more feminine than women he had worked with since he started as a cop in Baltimore. He suspected it was all thanks to her aunt Nettie because he had never seen her father show any emotions except anger, especially towards him.

His childhood wasn't better. After his mother's death he ended up in a boarding school. A few, actually. Even though he still had his father he felt like he was alone, like he had no family anymore. His grandparents lived in Italy and even if he had asked his dad to lend him some money to at least visit them, he wouldn't have agreed. School was the most important thing those days to him. Truth be told, Tony wouldn't mind going to school in Europe – he even knew Italian - but unfortunately it was not an option.

He sighed heavily placing his head in his hands. He really wanted to punch something. Anything. But considering the fact that Ziva was – _Ziva and their baby_ were - so close he tried to calm his breathing and slow down his heartbeat.

"What do you want to do?" he asked. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know her real answer because she would probably leave him and disappear as fast and far away as she could.

"I want to raise my child. I want him or her to have a better childhood than we both had. I want to make sure it is healthy and-" she took a deep breath. "And loved."

"Is there any place for me in your plan?" he tried once again wishing she would say yes but as stubborn as she was she could say no without second thoughts.

"I do not want you to feel obliged, Tony."

"And I don't! Geez, Ziva, this is also my child."

"We are both adults, I am sure we can come up with something but I do not want you to feel forced to do anything. I really wish our child could have a normal childhood but I cannot imagine us together anymore, I am sorry. I do not mean that I am going to forbid you from seeing him or her, no. But I think I do not want to see you 24/7 anymore."

"Any chance that you will forgive me one day?"

"Maybe. I cannot promise that."

* * *

First few months were really tough. Not only she ended up in the bathroom every morning which resulted being late to work all the time but also she still couldn't get over the fact that everything she wished for – a real stabile family with a husband and a child, maybe even two – was gone. She missed his warm body every night she went to bed, their movie nights, going out from time to time on dates at weekends. She even missed the mess he always left on the kitchen table after breakfast complaining that they woke up too late again and that there was no way they would be at work on time.

Even though Ziva was surrounded by friends, it was Abby who forced her to talk to her and the most important – listen to what the scientist had to say. She almost screamed at the brunette that it was the worst decision she could have made but she also told her that she understood but didn't approve the family model they created after Tony moved out of the apartment. She tried to convince the younger friend that it wasn't healthy for a child to grow up with only one parent, especially when there was no other family who could help. Just the work family who wouldn't be there on every call because they worked overtime almost every day solving cases and that Ziva should be aware of that considering that she spent last few years this way.

But she didn't listen to her. Tony and Ziva divorced when she was about four months along. He didn't want to beg her to stay with him, to give him another – the last – chance but he made sure she knew he didn't want to end their marriage and that he was doing that only for her – because she wanted that. She assured him that she would keep her promise and would not impede him contact with their child because she really wanted to raise her firstborn in a loving family even if they weren't a proper family anymore. A dysfunctional one, that's what they were.

Two months later when Ziva was about six months along and didn't show up at work at all, even after those three hours she needed to wait out the worst time in her bathroom in the beginning of her pregnancy, Tony started to worry. Something was clearly wrong and he couldn't reach her. McGee tried to calm him down asking if she had a doctor's appointment that he might had forgotten about but Tony had always remembered those things and asked her if she wanted him to go with her. She refused almost every time – he got to go with her twice – and when she came back he asked her about every little detail. No wonder, it was his child.

When she called him about half an hour later he felt relieved but when he picked up the phone and heard her crying and saying that something was wrong and that she shouldn't have been feeling those contractions, he grabbed his car keys and quickly left the bullpen without a word. He was so terrified he didn't hear Tim asking if something was wrong and didn't notice his boss's worried glance.

He spent next two hours in the hospital waiting for any news. His cuffs were covered in blood, Ziva's blood, and when he stormed into her apartment she swore she had no idea what was going on and seeing her so scared in conjunction with his fear made his stomach clench. He couldn't lost them. Not now, not ever.

When doctor left Ziva's room and assured Tony that his wife and child were stabile now he didn't even consider amending the man telling him that she was no longer his wife. It didn't matter, he didn't care. They were all right, they were both alive. He was also informed that Ziva needed to slow down and take a break from work even though she had been on a desk duty since she told Gibbs what was going on when he noticed her weird behavoiur. He couldn't imagine Ziva doing nothing but he knew she would do anything to make sure the baby was okay. She didn't have to stay in bed all the time till the end of her pregnancy but she had to take better care of herself and their child.

He sat down on the same chair again, took phone out of his pocket and called Gibbs.

"They're fine, boss," he whispered with a shaking voice wiping away a single tear that managed to escape his left eye. "My daughter didn't die."

He almost lost it and burst out crying when he heard the old man assuring him that his girls were strong and they would never give up. He needed them, he wouldn't be able to live his old 'single Tony' life again. Not after he understood what he had.

* * *

The baby was born three weeks earlier than it was planned but everything turned out well. Their baby girl was healthy though a bit smaller than average kids. But it didn't matter, to them, she was perfect.

Ziva didn't want to admit that but she was terrified of this whole situation but having Tony by her side holding her hand all the time was all she needed, what helped her the most. She wasn't sure but she could swear that she felt him kissing her temple every time she swore in Hebrew or moaned loudly due to pain.

But it was worth it. Holding their baby girl for the first time changed everything.

"Thank you," he managed to whisper stroking short hair on his daughter head.

She nodded with a slight smile. They didn't need words now, their eyes told them everything.

* * *

Three years later he was sitting in front of tv with his daughter in his ex-wife apartment while she had to go out to the pharmacy to get some medications for flu their baby girl had just received. He tried to occupy Gabrielle with Disney movies but she couldn't rest and pay attention to them for longer than a few minutes due to the fever and headache.

He tried his best, really, but when his daughter was sick all she needed was her mother. She always clung on to her blouse and didn't want to let her go even for a moment.

"My tummy hurts, daddy," she sobbed climbing onto his knees. "Mommy?"

"I know, sweetheart, I know. Mummy will be back soon."

He kissed her hair and hugged her tightly rubbing her back at the same time. She seemed to calm down after a while and ten minutes later she was napping with her head on his chest. Tony paused a movie and laid down trying not to wake Gabrielle up. She would be even moodier than she was before she fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later when Ziva opened the door to her apartment and found Tony dozing off on her couch with their baby girl curled up between a cushion and her father's side she stopped in her track and smiled unwittingly.

They weren't married, not anymore anyway, but looking at them like that she had to admit that they were kind of perfect. Dysfunctional but perfect. It was somehow working and she was grateful that she could count on him every time she needed anything. She wasn't sure if she would tell him that any time soon but she was glad that he never really engaged with any other woman after they divorced. For the first few months after Gabrielle was born he was practically living in her living room sleeping on the couch but since she started to notice him grimacing every time he woke up she told him they were both adults that shared a bed even before their marriage and suggested that he could take the other side of bed if he wanted.

It worked for five months then one night after a really tiring day they ended up sleeping together. He'd just solved a tough case, she was taking care of Gabrielle that was running a fever for last three days and it sort of happened. They agreed not to talk about it but no one had ever said it was a mistake. And maybe it was never a mistake because it started to happen more often. Sometimes once a month, sometimes once every three months, sometimes just after something bad had occurred, but no one of them had ever regretted it, no one sneaked out like a teenager before the other one woke up. Although, no one said that maybe divorcing over three years ago wasn't what they should had done, no one suggested to try again and see what happens.

"Hey, there," Tony whispered rubbing his eyes with his free hand. He noticed her standing in front of them for a while and decided to interrupt her thoughts.

"Hi. How is she?"

"Missing her mommy. She said she had a stomach ache and I think she still has a fever."

"How long has she been asleep?"

"Um, half an hour or so," he replied looking at his watch. "Should I wake her? You know, to give her some meds."

"I think so but she has not been sleeping properly for the last four days. I am not sure how she still has some energy left," she sighed. "Tony, I-" she whispered and stopped immediately but he heard her anyway and looked at her. He wanted to know what she was going to say. "I am glad you are here. I mean it, really."

She didn't realise when he left the couch and appeared next to her in the kitchen where she was warming up a soup for their daughter to eat. Next thing she knew was his lips on her temple and his hand on her waist.

"I'm glad, too."

And then she hugged him the way she did before. Before those three years happened.

* * *

 _A/N: And? What do you think? :)  
_


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